I hadn’t even noticed until I went back a year later. How physically uncomfortable, how excruciating it felt to ride my bike to school. I was accustomed, over the span of 5 years, to feeling sick and miserable.
You guys were the demons of my personal hell. You were the reason I lied to my parents, trying anything, to not having to get out of bed. You are the bar with which I measure my pain by when something bad happens. You stole the years in which I was supposed to develop friendships and hobbies freely; and you tainted them black, dragged them through the mud with grinning faces.
And in the end you didn’t even know why. And I never even knew why.
You have long forgotten me and I’m still here picking up pieces and explaining to people why I can’t function like a normal human being. Why I can’t deal with confrontations or why I hate parts of my body. Why I don’t care for myself as much as I should because, while in school, you taught me that I’m worthless, ugly and unwanted. And that stuck with me more than the quadratic equations from maths class.