High School Memories

I hadn’t even noticed until I went back a year later. How physically uncomfortable, how excruciating it felt to ride my bike to school. I was accustomed, over the span of 5 years, to feeling sick and miserable.

You guys were the demons of my personal hell. You were the reason I lied to my parents, trying anything, to not having to get out of bed. You are the bar with which I measure my pain by when something bad happens. You stole the years in which I was supposed to develop friendships and hobbies freely; and you tainted them black, dragged them through the mud with grinning faces.

And in the end you didn’t even know why. And I never even knew why.
You have long forgotten me and I’m still here picking up pieces and explaining to people why I can’t function like a normal human being. Why I can’t deal with confrontations or why I hate parts of my body. Why I don’t care for myself as much as I should because, while in school, you taught me that I’m worthless, ugly and unwanted. And that stuck with me more than the quadratic equations from maths class.

3 thoughts on “High School Memories

      1. You’re welcome. All I know is, as clichéd as it sounds all of this does build character. I was the school nerd but somehow I morphed into a well-rounded human being years after constant bullying and such. To this day I despise bullies but I also gained strength, perspective and determination. Years after the high school dramas I met up with some of those people and was quite amazed at how small some of them had remained…. \best of luck with your process. You have a lovely mind and your writing show that. Have a great day! T

        Liked by 1 person

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