High School Memories

I hadn’t even noticed until I went back a year later. How physically uncomfortable, how excruciating it felt to ride my bike to school. I was accustomed, over the span of 5 years, to feeling sick and miserable.

You guys were the demons of my personal hell. You were the reason I lied to my parents, trying anything, to not having to get out of bed. You are the bar with which I measure my pain by when something bad happens. You stole the years in which I was supposed to develop friendships and hobbies freely; and you tainted them black, dragged them through the mud with grinning faces.

And in the end you didn’t even know why. And I never even knew why.
You have long forgotten me and I’m still here picking up pieces and explaining to people why I can’t function like a normal human being. Why I can’t deal with confrontations or why I hate parts of my body. Why I don’t care for myself as much as I should because, while in school, you taught me that I’m worthless, ugly and unwanted. And that stuck with me more than the quadratic equations from maths class.

3 thoughts on “High School Memories

  1. We often fail to realize just how cruel other humans can be. May you pick up all the pieces and leave all those “nasty equations” behind

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      1. You’re welcome. All I know is, as clichéd as it sounds all of this does build character. I was the school nerd but somehow I morphed into a well-rounded human being years after constant bullying and such. To this day I despise bullies but I also gained strength, perspective and determination. Years after the high school dramas I met up with some of those people and was quite amazed at how small some of them had remained…. \best of luck with your process. You have a lovely mind and your writing show that. Have a great day! T

        Liked by 1 person

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